Yesterday I had an afternoon acupuncture session with Jelena that left me feeling so calm and relaxed. I got to enjoy it for a couple of hours before Michael and I had a problem with the Ganirelix injection and I got stressed out again. The problem was that he said something (can't remember what now) while he was giving me the injection and I laughed. My belly moved and the needle came out, leaving a rather large drop of medication on the outside of my belly instead of the inside. I was worried since Ganirelix is the drug that keeps the body from ovulating until the retrieval and I didn't want to ovulate early as a result of not getting the full dose of medicine. So I called the fertility clinic's after-hours number and had Dr. Patton on the line in a matter of moments. He said that yes, I should probably take some extra Ganirelix if we had another pre-filled syringe--just in case. So Michael injected about as much as he thought we lost but when he pulled the needle out, some blood (& drug) came out. So to be safe we injected a bit more. There wasn't a lot left by the time we were done but at least we were pretty sure I wouldn't ovulate early.
This morning I went in and at first Dr. Patton said "I think you're ready," meaning ready for the trigger shot. But after the ultrasound was over and he was reviewing the various sizes of the follicles, he said that maybe we should go one more day. Bummer. One more day of meds and waiting to do the trigger shot. But, if it means the follicles will all be a good size and the eggs inside will be mature, I'm willing to do it. What's one more day at this point, right?
I was mostly bummed that we would have to buy more Menopur and Ganirelix for tonight and more Follistim for tomorrow morning's dose. But again, at this point, what's a few hundred more dollars? :) It will all be worth it in the end!
So tomorrow I go in at 9 for another ultrasound--this time with Dr. Lee (Eileen's doctor)--and we'll hopefully get the go-ahead to do the trigger shot tomorrow night, which would make Saturday our retrieval day. I am hoping with everything I have that I am ready by tomorrow.
Today was tough again, emotionally. I am convinced it's all the hormones pulsing through my body because I am a nervous, angry, crying mess, interspersed with periods of feeling "normal." But mostly feeling not normal. People at work started to notice today (both because I was wiping away tears as I worked and because I was a little more outspoken than I usually am). I feel badly, but honestly, it is all I can do to hold it together right now. I hope they understand, even though most of them don't know we are going through an IVF cycle. I'm sure it will come out later when I am out for a few days after the transfer.
What I can tell you is that this is much, much, much tougher than I had imagined. And I don't know how some women go through as many as 6 IVF cycles. I know I couldn't do it. Please keep praying for us that we get our baby(ies) with this one cycle.
I'll let you know what we find out tomorrow.
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Praying, praying, praying!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you are Wonder Woman just for enduring all of these injections, let alone all of the emotional toil that goes along with it! Your experience with the Ganirelix injection left me cringing. You are doing awesome! Hang in there.
Thanks, Christi. :) I actually did have Michael take pictures of my belly the other night . . . it's swollen from the follicles and is what I imagine I will look like in early pregnancy. Plus I had to document my bruises. :) Sometimes I kind of forget exactly why I am doing this. And then I remember and it's all okay. If we have one or two happy, healthy babies, all of this will have been well worth it.
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