When I got home from work today, I was excited to see a small padded envelope waiting for me. About two and a half weeks ago, I ordered some "fertility drops" from a woman who makes custom essential oil blends for just about every health condition under the sun. When I found out that she had a blend to increase fertility, I was skeptical for about 30 seconds, then decided that I have nothing to lose, really. Since I'm going to give natural medicine my all, I might as well go for it! :)
If I hadn't heard from the woman by the weekend, I was going to email her to see how the blend was coming along and to make sure she hadn't forgotten me; when I saw the small package waiting for me on our kitchen table, I knew exactly what it was! A note tucked inside the envelope said "Happy baby-making!" which I thought was sweet. I had to laugh at the label on the bottle as well: "Fertility Serum (make babies)." I'm not sure what other kind of purpose a fertility serum would have, but I guess as the maker of the product, you have to be extra-clear. :)
The ingredients are: organic jojoba oil and pure essential oils of Geranium, Clary Sage and Anise. The instructions are: Put 2 drops on wrists and rub together; 3 drops around entire ankle area and 3 drops onto low back, 2x/day.
I am SO excited to begin using the serum, but I don't know when I should start. Part of me feels like I should wait until I begin the Chinese medicine program so that everything is working together--and the other part of me wants to get a head start with these oils.
One thing is sure--I'll be exuding an aroma of some sort. Hope it's a good one! :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
News From The Doctor--Finally!
It only took 3 weeks and 2 phone calls to the doctor's office (!) but I did finally hear back yesterday about my ultrasound and blood test results. The doctor said there were some cysts (as I already knew) and that one could be incorporating one of my fallopian tubes, which could certainly make it difficult for an egg to get through. Her recommendation was the hysterosalpingogram test in which dye is injected through the cervix and shows if the path through the uterus and fallopian tubes is open. She also asked if I was going to schedule a consult with the doctors at Oregon Reproductive Medicine and I told her that I'm going to begin a Chinese medicine & acupuncture program and will wait to see if the condition can be resolved that way before doing any more tests or starting ART (assisted reproductive technology) treatments.
As for my bloodwork, she said it all looked fine except for my Vitamin D level which appears to be very low. It was low when my naturopath checked it two or three years ago, and I took a supplement for awhile, then just stopped--I can't even remember the reason why now. It was probably when I got frustrated with all of the supplements I was taking and decided to take a break. So I'll need to get myself back on that again at least until I've been following Dr. Randine's recommendations for at least 3 months--that's the minimum length of time she recommends for following an individualized Chinese medicine treatment plan. In The Infertility Cure, she says that the purpose of Chinese medicine is to bring the body back into a state of balance so that all systems are functioning normally and supplements are no longer needed. I love this concept--that my body isn't deficient in any way, but has just gotten off track and needs some gentle guidance to resume its natural functions. Yes.
As for my bloodwork, she said it all looked fine except for my Vitamin D level which appears to be very low. It was low when my naturopath checked it two or three years ago, and I took a supplement for awhile, then just stopped--I can't even remember the reason why now. It was probably when I got frustrated with all of the supplements I was taking and decided to take a break. So I'll need to get myself back on that again at least until I've been following Dr. Randine's recommendations for at least 3 months--that's the minimum length of time she recommends for following an individualized Chinese medicine treatment plan. In The Infertility Cure, she says that the purpose of Chinese medicine is to bring the body back into a state of balance so that all systems are functioning normally and supplements are no longer needed. I love this concept--that my body isn't deficient in any way, but has just gotten off track and needs some gentle guidance to resume its natural functions. Yes.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Asheville, Here We Come!
My mom has decided to come with me to Asheville next month for the Fertile Soul retreat since Michael can't get time off work. She has been intrigued with the town for several years now, ever since she tried to win an Asheville "dream home" giveaway sponsored by (I think) HGTV. She liked that the town is artsy and has lots of fun shops. When Michael and I got to go there last year (courtesy of Kathleen and Matthew!), I told her all about it and especially about the amazing Biltmore Estate. I showed her photos from our tour, and a book detailing the history and architecture of Biltmore House, but really to get the full effect of its grandeur you just have to be there in person. Add to that the fact that my mom hasn't taken a "real" vacation (by which I mean more than a week camping at the coast) in all of my nearly 36 years. She hasn't flown since before I was born! When I realized Michael wouldn't be able to go with me to North Carolina, it didn't take much thought to think of inviting my mom. She can explore the shops and the beautiful downtown area of Asheville while I attend the retreat, and we can both enjoy the luxurious hotel where it's taking place--The Grove Park Inn Resort & Spa, which, from the website looks to be quite chic--http://www.groveparkinn.com/Leisure/
Oh la la! I know my mom will love it--she always says she has champagne tastes on a beer budget. :) I hope she will savor every minute of the luxuriousness of her vacation and realize that treating oneself in such a way needs to happen much more often in life than once every 30-odd years (I am just now realizing this one myself!) :)
Oh la la! I know my mom will love it--she always says she has champagne tastes on a beer budget. :) I hope she will savor every minute of the luxuriousness of her vacation and realize that treating oneself in such a way needs to happen much more often in life than once every 30-odd years (I am just now realizing this one myself!) :)
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Fertile Soul Foundations Retreat, or Getting to Baby Camp
I have given myself a gift. You could call it many gifts, depending on how you look at it, but I consider the whole thing to be one big gift to myself. Wednesday night I registered for a 4-day, 3-night fertility-enhancing retreat to be held this May in Asheville, North Carolina.
Just a few weeks ago I was pretty much at the end of my rope emotionally-speaking. To say that I felt alone in my struggle with infertility is a massive understatement. I was managing to keep my head above water, but floundering badly. I knew I had to do something to help myself cope with the stress of wanting a baby and not getting a baby or I was not going to make it. So I got online and started looking around to see if there might be an infertility support group in the Portland area. I found one affiliated with RESOLVE which is the national infertility association. The online listing said that the group normally meets the 3rd Tuesday of every month at Good Samaritan hospital in Portland. It starts at 7pm (a half hour after I get off work) and it's less than two miles away. It was perfect. However, once I knew there was a support group available, I tried to reason my way out of going. It would be late when I got home, I would be tired, and maybe I would leave feeling worse than before I went. But all excuses aside, I knew I really needed to talk to some other women going through the same thing, if only to feel less isolated.
So I went to the support group. I was pleased to discover that they offer a lending library, and there was one book that I was drawn to in particular because it describes a natural approach to overcoming infertility. I leafed through it half-heartedly, but decided to take it and read through it at home. Maybe I would find some technique or tip that could help me. What I did find was much more than that. I found a lifeline in a sea of impossibility.
The book is The Infertility Cure by Dr. Randine Lewis. As I read the introduction, in which Randine describes her personal experience with infertility and how she overcame it with acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), I felt a spark of possibility ignite within me. Then I looked at her website (http://www.thefertilesoul.com/), and I knew I had found where I needed to be.
Here was an approach and a philosophy of healing that resonated completely with me. Here was testimonial after testimonial of women who had been told they would never conceive naturally, but did and went on to have healthy children. Here was a team of health care practitioners devoted to helping each woman (and her partner) achieve their maximum state of fertility--and not just physical fertility, but emotional, mental and spiritual fertility as well. It was what I had been looking for but had given up on amidst the clouds of my discouragement.
When I read about the retreats offered several times a year (and led by Randine herself!), I knew that I had to figure out a way to go. The issue then became justifying the cost not only to Michael but to myself as well. I didn't want to spend a few thousand dollars on something I might be able to do on my own, using Randine's book as guidance. Michael's worry was that the endometriosis was too far advanced to be helped by anything short of surgery and he didn't want me to get my hopes up only to be disappointed. I thought about it and thought about it over the next few days. I emailed several women (and 1 man!) who had attended previous retreats to get their honest opinions of the retreats and of the program in general. I asked them if they thought they could have gotten the same results soley from following Randine's recommendations in her book. One woman said she posed my question to her husband and he said that it would not have been nearly as effective. All of the replies I received were heartfelt and joyfully affirmative. "Go, if you can," they all said, "You won't believe how it will change you."
I exchanged emails with one of the program's staff members who assured me that Randine has worked extensively with endometriosis throughout her career. She told me that I would be evaluated and a specific herbal treatment plan would be created for me to address the symptoms I exhibit which TCM considers to be imbalances in the system. Remove the imbalances, and health is restored. After dealing with this condition for nearly 20 years now, it would be worth it to me if just the endometriosis could be resolved--even if I wasn't able to get pregnant naturally. Just feeling better would be gift enough. A baby would be (will be!) frosting on the cake!
I finally decided that this is just something I have to do and that is that. I have to take a leap of faith and follow what I feel is right. Part of the reason I have been discouraged is that I felt like I failed at all of the natural remedies I have tried in the past and that my only option now is surgery to remove the endometriosis and increase my chances of conceiving. A doctor I saw in 2008 wanted to operate right away and something in me kept saying "No, this isn't the way. This is not the way for you."
But if I am honest with myself, a large part of the reason I wasn't successful before with my natural approach could be because I gave up too soon. I dabbled in acupuncture, dabbled in abdominal massage and followed dietary restrictions for endometriosis to increase my fertility but resented every minute of it. And then I got angry--I used what I saw as the unfairness of my situation as an excuse to quit early.
The message that Randine's book has finally driven home to me is that natural medicine isn't a quick fix, but it does work. But I have to be willing to make what may feel like some uncomfortable changes in all aspects of my life. I have to let go of my anger and my self-pity and my struggle against what life has offered me so far. I have to do my part in helping nature help me heal, and that means I have to let go of my excuses--too tired, too sad, too difficult, etc. This is the gift I am giving myself--this one last shot at helping my body heal and conceive on its own. I am devoting myself to religiously following every guideline that Randine's healthcare team gives me when I am evaluated at the retreat. If I can do that, I will be happy knowing that I have truly done all I can.
Just a few weeks ago I was pretty much at the end of my rope emotionally-speaking. To say that I felt alone in my struggle with infertility is a massive understatement. I was managing to keep my head above water, but floundering badly. I knew I had to do something to help myself cope with the stress of wanting a baby and not getting a baby or I was not going to make it. So I got online and started looking around to see if there might be an infertility support group in the Portland area. I found one affiliated with RESOLVE which is the national infertility association. The online listing said that the group normally meets the 3rd Tuesday of every month at Good Samaritan hospital in Portland. It starts at 7pm (a half hour after I get off work) and it's less than two miles away. It was perfect. However, once I knew there was a support group available, I tried to reason my way out of going. It would be late when I got home, I would be tired, and maybe I would leave feeling worse than before I went. But all excuses aside, I knew I really needed to talk to some other women going through the same thing, if only to feel less isolated.
So I went to the support group. I was pleased to discover that they offer a lending library, and there was one book that I was drawn to in particular because it describes a natural approach to overcoming infertility. I leafed through it half-heartedly, but decided to take it and read through it at home. Maybe I would find some technique or tip that could help me. What I did find was much more than that. I found a lifeline in a sea of impossibility.
The book is The Infertility Cure by Dr. Randine Lewis. As I read the introduction, in which Randine describes her personal experience with infertility and how she overcame it with acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), I felt a spark of possibility ignite within me. Then I looked at her website (http://www.thefertilesoul.com/), and I knew I had found where I needed to be.
Here was an approach and a philosophy of healing that resonated completely with me. Here was testimonial after testimonial of women who had been told they would never conceive naturally, but did and went on to have healthy children. Here was a team of health care practitioners devoted to helping each woman (and her partner) achieve their maximum state of fertility--and not just physical fertility, but emotional, mental and spiritual fertility as well. It was what I had been looking for but had given up on amidst the clouds of my discouragement.
When I read about the retreats offered several times a year (and led by Randine herself!), I knew that I had to figure out a way to go. The issue then became justifying the cost not only to Michael but to myself as well. I didn't want to spend a few thousand dollars on something I might be able to do on my own, using Randine's book as guidance. Michael's worry was that the endometriosis was too far advanced to be helped by anything short of surgery and he didn't want me to get my hopes up only to be disappointed. I thought about it and thought about it over the next few days. I emailed several women (and 1 man!) who had attended previous retreats to get their honest opinions of the retreats and of the program in general. I asked them if they thought they could have gotten the same results soley from following Randine's recommendations in her book. One woman said she posed my question to her husband and he said that it would not have been nearly as effective. All of the replies I received were heartfelt and joyfully affirmative. "Go, if you can," they all said, "You won't believe how it will change you."
I exchanged emails with one of the program's staff members who assured me that Randine has worked extensively with endometriosis throughout her career. She told me that I would be evaluated and a specific herbal treatment plan would be created for me to address the symptoms I exhibit which TCM considers to be imbalances in the system. Remove the imbalances, and health is restored. After dealing with this condition for nearly 20 years now, it would be worth it to me if just the endometriosis could be resolved--even if I wasn't able to get pregnant naturally. Just feeling better would be gift enough. A baby would be (will be!) frosting on the cake!
I finally decided that this is just something I have to do and that is that. I have to take a leap of faith and follow what I feel is right. Part of the reason I have been discouraged is that I felt like I failed at all of the natural remedies I have tried in the past and that my only option now is surgery to remove the endometriosis and increase my chances of conceiving. A doctor I saw in 2008 wanted to operate right away and something in me kept saying "No, this isn't the way. This is not the way for you."
But if I am honest with myself, a large part of the reason I wasn't successful before with my natural approach could be because I gave up too soon. I dabbled in acupuncture, dabbled in abdominal massage and followed dietary restrictions for endometriosis to increase my fertility but resented every minute of it. And then I got angry--I used what I saw as the unfairness of my situation as an excuse to quit early.
The message that Randine's book has finally driven home to me is that natural medicine isn't a quick fix, but it does work. But I have to be willing to make what may feel like some uncomfortable changes in all aspects of my life. I have to let go of my anger and my self-pity and my struggle against what life has offered me so far. I have to do my part in helping nature help me heal, and that means I have to let go of my excuses--too tired, too sad, too difficult, etc. This is the gift I am giving myself--this one last shot at helping my body heal and conceive on its own. I am devoting myself to religiously following every guideline that Randine's healthcare team gives me when I am evaluated at the retreat. If I can do that, I will be happy knowing that I have truly done all I can.
No News Is Good News
Or so I am thinking. Since I haven't heard from my doctor about last week's ultrasound, I am guessing there is nothing urgent about its results. That is one good thing!
The other good thing is that I have an appointment on Monday to have blood work done--not good in the sense that I am looking forward to it or anything, but good that I got on the ball and scheduled my appointment today. Soon I'll know my current levels of hormones, white and red blood cells, etc. For a procrastinator like me, making the appointment only a week after getting the lab order is a pretty big deal. :)
The other good thing is that I have an appointment on Monday to have blood work done--not good in the sense that I am looking forward to it or anything, but good that I got on the ball and scheduled my appointment today. Soon I'll know my current levels of hormones, white and red blood cells, etc. For a procrastinator like me, making the appointment only a week after getting the lab order is a pretty big deal. :)
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