Two Thursdays ago I was lucky enough to snag a couple hours of time away from a very busy lady: Jennifer Taylor Childress. She is a midwife with her own homebirth practice on the Oregon coast, whom I met when I was a doula at the birth of my friend Kathleen's son, Jackson. Jennifer was one of the student midwives in attendance at the birth, and I was so struck by her calm energy and nurturing manner that I knew if I ever got lucky enough to get pregnant, she would be my first choice as caregiver.
We met for at Pizzicato's in Beaverton and chatted over pizza and panini. I tried to give a fairly brief synopsis of the events of this pregnancy and explained that we are still deciding where to give birth to our little boy. It looks more and more like it will be a hospital birth, and in that case, I really want to have a doula . . . correction, I really want to have Jennifer as my doula. :) I think it will be a lot easier for me to be in a setting that is not my first choice, if I have someone there with me during labor whom I know, trust and have chosen to be with me. What will be great is that potentially I will have two midwives with me--the CNM from the hospital and Jennifer, although Jennifer will be acting as my doula. Still--I'll have two women attending me who believe in birth as a safe, natural event and I know that will help me tremendously.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Eileen's Baby Party
I got to go to Eileen's shower on December 10th. :) The countdown to baby is fast approaching and I think celebrating with friends & family (and especially receiving all those sweet baby gifts) really brought the reality of the coming baby home for her. I'm sure it will be that way for me too at my shower.
The party was held at her sister's very cute house (which I totally loved) on the east side of Portland. Eileen's mom and aunt had flown in from back east to be there, and she had a great group of friends there too. The atmosphere was light and relaxed with all of us sitting or standing around in groups chatting, sipping on "signature drinks" (mine was sparkling pink lemonade in a champagne flute with two raspberries on the bottom of the glass) and sampling some of the many goodies whipped up by family and friends.
There was a very yummy salad of mixed greens with pomegranate seeds and satsuma wedges. I am totally stealing the recipe because I thought the flavors were so good together. And the red seeds added a holiday vibe to the salad. There was baked brie, pear and apple slices, finger sandwiches, cute little cupcakes made by Eileen's sister, and really cute "Santa" treats brought by a friend. They consisted of a small square of brownie, a layer of whip cream, then a strawberry, topped off with more whip cream. SO cute!
After everyone had snacked a bit, Eileen opened her gifts. She and her husband (and their little one), got a lot of nice things which I was so happy about because they really deserve to be pampered. The big things they got were a BOB stroller (looks so cool--like the cadillac of strollers!) and an infant carseat, which was the one thing that I think made everything very real for Eileen. I'm sure she looked at it and in her mind's eye saw her little one nestled inside. :)
No games were played (which I was totally okay with) but something that we were all asked to bring if we wanted and which I thought was a great idea, were cute baby socks and a favorite book. The socks were strung on a ribbon like a garland, and were clipped on with tiny clothespins. Adorable. Everyone brought a book and I don't think Eileen got any duplicates, even though she has been working on building the baby's library for awhile now. I took "The Snowy Day," by Ezra Jack Keats, which was one of my favorites when I was little. I had a red snowsuit with a hood--just like the little boy in the book. :)
I know it was a very special day for Eileen, celebrating with her family and friends. And in only a very short time now, we will all be welcoming her baby into the world.
<3
The party was held at her sister's very cute house (which I totally loved) on the east side of Portland. Eileen's mom and aunt had flown in from back east to be there, and she had a great group of friends there too. The atmosphere was light and relaxed with all of us sitting or standing around in groups chatting, sipping on "signature drinks" (mine was sparkling pink lemonade in a champagne flute with two raspberries on the bottom of the glass) and sampling some of the many goodies whipped up by family and friends.
There was a very yummy salad of mixed greens with pomegranate seeds and satsuma wedges. I am totally stealing the recipe because I thought the flavors were so good together. And the red seeds added a holiday vibe to the salad. There was baked brie, pear and apple slices, finger sandwiches, cute little cupcakes made by Eileen's sister, and really cute "Santa" treats brought by a friend. They consisted of a small square of brownie, a layer of whip cream, then a strawberry, topped off with more whip cream. SO cute!
After everyone had snacked a bit, Eileen opened her gifts. She and her husband (and their little one), got a lot of nice things which I was so happy about because they really deserve to be pampered. The big things they got were a BOB stroller (looks so cool--like the cadillac of strollers!) and an infant carseat, which was the one thing that I think made everything very real for Eileen. I'm sure she looked at it and in her mind's eye saw her little one nestled inside. :)
No games were played (which I was totally okay with) but something that we were all asked to bring if we wanted and which I thought was a great idea, were cute baby socks and a favorite book. The socks were strung on a ribbon like a garland, and were clipped on with tiny clothespins. Adorable. Everyone brought a book and I don't think Eileen got any duplicates, even though she has been working on building the baby's library for awhile now. I took "The Snowy Day," by Ezra Jack Keats, which was one of my favorites when I was little. I had a red snowsuit with a hood--just like the little boy in the book. :)
I know it was a very special day for Eileen, celebrating with her family and friends. And in only a very short time now, we will all be welcoming her baby into the world.
<3
21 Weeks! (Almost 2 Weeks Ago Now . . . )
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| Okay, so not the best posture in the world, but look at that belly!! :) |
20 Week Appointment & Ultrasound
On Monday it will already be three weeks since we hit the 20 week mark. I guess I have let myself get a little behind with posting updates. :) But to make up for it, I have some ultrasound pictures to go with this post, as I'm sure you are all anxious to see more previews of our little man.
Michael and I ended up waiting about an hour for our appointment to start, which is definitely the longest I have had to wait so far at Dr. Stempel's office. I think they must have been running behind. The plan was for me to see the doctor before the ultrasound, but it turned out that I had the ultrasound first. And since I was instructed to finish drinking 24 oz of fluid a half hour before my scheduled appointment time, you can be sure I was practically bursting at the seams by the time we were taken back.
The ultrasound was quite thorough as it was the 20 week anatomy scan, where they check all of the baby's organs to make sure everything has developped properly and looks to be functioning. The technician first looked at the other twin, who is still there, still enveloped in an intact sac. It has moved down very close to my cervix, and is now between the living baby and the way out. There is also a sac of fluid visible that the doctor guesses is blood and possibly where the spotting has been coming from. He guesses that I will most likely have spotting off and on throughout the rest of the pregnancy. He said I could still "pass" the other twin, and if that happens, it shouldn't affect the living baby at all.
The technician also measured the endometrioma cysts on my ovaries and no one mentioned that they are necessarily bigger than before, so I guess we are doing okay in that department. I'm glad because I have been eating dairy and some red meat while being pregnant, and I've been hoping that it wasn't having a negative effect on the endometriosis.
Our next appointment is at the end of the first week in January. So we are going a whole month without going in . . . progress! :) At the next visit, I will ask the doctor about a referral to a midwife at Emanual, so I can get on board with hopefully having a waterbirth in April.
And now . . . the pictures:
Michael and I ended up waiting about an hour for our appointment to start, which is definitely the longest I have had to wait so far at Dr. Stempel's office. I think they must have been running behind. The plan was for me to see the doctor before the ultrasound, but it turned out that I had the ultrasound first. And since I was instructed to finish drinking 24 oz of fluid a half hour before my scheduled appointment time, you can be sure I was practically bursting at the seams by the time we were taken back.
The ultrasound was quite thorough as it was the 20 week anatomy scan, where they check all of the baby's organs to make sure everything has developped properly and looks to be functioning. The technician first looked at the other twin, who is still there, still enveloped in an intact sac. It has moved down very close to my cervix, and is now between the living baby and the way out. There is also a sac of fluid visible that the doctor guesses is blood and possibly where the spotting has been coming from. He guesses that I will most likely have spotting off and on throughout the rest of the pregnancy. He said I could still "pass" the other twin, and if that happens, it shouldn't affect the living baby at all.
The technician also measured the endometrioma cysts on my ovaries and no one mentioned that they are necessarily bigger than before, so I guess we are doing okay in that department. I'm glad because I have been eating dairy and some red meat while being pregnant, and I've been hoping that it wasn't having a negative effect on the endometriosis.
Our next appointment is at the end of the first week in January. So we are going a whole month without going in . . . progress! :) At the next visit, I will ask the doctor about a referral to a midwife at Emanual, so I can get on board with hopefully having a waterbirth in April.
And now . . . the pictures:
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| Our little man. |
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| My favorite of his hand and face. |
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| Baby boy parts! :) |
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The First Definite Kicks!
I have been feeling the baby "wiggle" now since about week 15, although it's definitely been sporadic. A week or so ago I thought I felt movement under my palm, but thought it could also have just been gas or something.
Yesterday, Michael and I were watching t.v. when I began to feel movement going on. I put my hand over my belly and felt a definite thump against my skin. It was the oddest thing to feel it from the inside and also to feel it on the outside. I grabbed Michael's hand and put it where mine had been and sure enough, we were rewarded with another kick.
Very cool. :) I'm looking forward to feeling the baby move and kick more and more as he gets bigger. I think the trippiest thing will be seeing him move around underneath my skin!
Yesterday, Michael and I were watching t.v. when I began to feel movement going on. I put my hand over my belly and felt a definite thump against my skin. It was the oddest thing to feel it from the inside and also to feel it on the outside. I grabbed Michael's hand and put it where mine had been and sure enough, we were rewarded with another kick.
Very cool. :) I'm looking forward to feeling the baby move and kick more and more as he gets bigger. I think the trippiest thing will be seeing him move around underneath my skin!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
18 Week Appointment
Tuesday Michael and I met with Dr. Stempel for a quick checkup. Since I am still bleeding/spotting, he had offered us the chance to come in after only two weeks instead of the usual four--just to help put my mind more at ease.
I had really hoped that the bleeding would be completely over by now (four weeks after the accident), but it is not. It's been coupled with some premenstrual-like cramping that comes and goes but which I experience nearly every day. I have been trying hard to relax and surrender but it has been pretty rough. As overjoyed as I am to be pregnant, I keep wishing that I felt better and that I were having an "uneventful" pregnancy--one in which I just dealt with morningsickness (which I still have a bit of too) instead of these other things that make it hard for me not to worry.
When I notice my thoughts beginning to spiral around what might happen, I make myself stop and try to visualize our baby coming home from the hospital/birth center. I try to picture what he will look like at 6 months, at 1 year, at two years. I get in bed and read out loud to him from some of my favorite children's books. I think it's still a bit early at this point for him to be able to hear my voice (soon!), but reading to him helps me refocus and point my mind toward what I want instead of what I fear. It helps me feel close to him.
Dr. Stempel's office must have been running somewhat behind on Tuesday because we ended up waiting the longest that we've ever waited. I kept watching women who arrived after me be taken back before me. But no matter. Neither of us were really keen to get in and out because then we would have felt more obligated to go back to work. If our 2:45pm appointment took longer than, say, an hour for us to be out the door, we were planning on just going home afterward.
Renee finally came to get us around 3:15 or so and led us back to our usual examining room. First up was checking my weight which came in at 137 pounds--down a pound from our last visit. She didn't remark on it, so it must have been fine. My blood pressure was a little higher than I remember it being last time, although I only remember the top number (120). Usually it is quite a bit lower than that but I was probably also amped up about the visit.
I had asked Michael to help me remember to ask for the information packet about Emanuel, since if we decide on a hospital birth, that is where we will go. Renee must have been reading my mind because she asked if we had decided yet on where we wanted to have the baby. She gave us a spiral bound notebook full of facts and forms to fill out which Michael started checking out right away.
When Dr. Stempel came in, he asked how things were going, but didn't seem overly concerned when I told him about the bleeding and that sometimes it has more pink or red in it than dark brown. He went right to work measuring my womb and said that I've grown 4 cm since our last visit two weeks ago. That was really good to hear. Then he used the Doppler to find the baby's heartbeat and we heard it again, loud and strong. It almost sounded faster to me than before but he said it was 145 beats per minute, which is normal.
That was it for the checkup. I asked him again about the bleeding and cramping but he basically repeated what he'd told me last time: that it would be better if I wasn't experiencing those things, but that some women do and most of the time it turns out okay for mom and baby. Sometimes it doesn't. I asked if I should be restricting my activity and he said that I probably already am (yes), but that he doesn't think going on bedrest would improve my chances and that I would probably feel better to continue the activities I have been doing (mostly just working).
I left feeling somewhat discouraged. Maybe I am worrying more than I should be. I tried to explain to Michael how hard it is not to worry when I feel so awful most of the time, and when I have the constant reminder of the bleeding every time I use the bathroom, which is a lot. I told him that I think it is easier not to worry when the baby is not growing inside of you.
So we go back in two weeks for the 20 week appointment. We'll have the anatomy ultrasound to check on the baby's organ development, placement of the placenta, amniotic fluid level, etc. I am looking forward to seeing my sweet boy again, to finding out that everything is still progressing just fine, and to hopefully getting one or two more ultrasound pictures.
If you could please continue to pray for us (and especially me, I think at this point), I would really, really appreciate it. I need to somehow find some peace over this situation where I feel I have so little control.
Thank you, as always. <3
I had really hoped that the bleeding would be completely over by now (four weeks after the accident), but it is not. It's been coupled with some premenstrual-like cramping that comes and goes but which I experience nearly every day. I have been trying hard to relax and surrender but it has been pretty rough. As overjoyed as I am to be pregnant, I keep wishing that I felt better and that I were having an "uneventful" pregnancy--one in which I just dealt with morningsickness (which I still have a bit of too) instead of these other things that make it hard for me not to worry.
When I notice my thoughts beginning to spiral around what might happen, I make myself stop and try to visualize our baby coming home from the hospital/birth center. I try to picture what he will look like at 6 months, at 1 year, at two years. I get in bed and read out loud to him from some of my favorite children's books. I think it's still a bit early at this point for him to be able to hear my voice (soon!), but reading to him helps me refocus and point my mind toward what I want instead of what I fear. It helps me feel close to him.
Dr. Stempel's office must have been running somewhat behind on Tuesday because we ended up waiting the longest that we've ever waited. I kept watching women who arrived after me be taken back before me. But no matter. Neither of us were really keen to get in and out because then we would have felt more obligated to go back to work. If our 2:45pm appointment took longer than, say, an hour for us to be out the door, we were planning on just going home afterward.
Renee finally came to get us around 3:15 or so and led us back to our usual examining room. First up was checking my weight which came in at 137 pounds--down a pound from our last visit. She didn't remark on it, so it must have been fine. My blood pressure was a little higher than I remember it being last time, although I only remember the top number (120). Usually it is quite a bit lower than that but I was probably also amped up about the visit.
I had asked Michael to help me remember to ask for the information packet about Emanuel, since if we decide on a hospital birth, that is where we will go. Renee must have been reading my mind because she asked if we had decided yet on where we wanted to have the baby. She gave us a spiral bound notebook full of facts and forms to fill out which Michael started checking out right away.
When Dr. Stempel came in, he asked how things were going, but didn't seem overly concerned when I told him about the bleeding and that sometimes it has more pink or red in it than dark brown. He went right to work measuring my womb and said that I've grown 4 cm since our last visit two weeks ago. That was really good to hear. Then he used the Doppler to find the baby's heartbeat and we heard it again, loud and strong. It almost sounded faster to me than before but he said it was 145 beats per minute, which is normal.
That was it for the checkup. I asked him again about the bleeding and cramping but he basically repeated what he'd told me last time: that it would be better if I wasn't experiencing those things, but that some women do and most of the time it turns out okay for mom and baby. Sometimes it doesn't. I asked if I should be restricting my activity and he said that I probably already am (yes), but that he doesn't think going on bedrest would improve my chances and that I would probably feel better to continue the activities I have been doing (mostly just working).
I left feeling somewhat discouraged. Maybe I am worrying more than I should be. I tried to explain to Michael how hard it is not to worry when I feel so awful most of the time, and when I have the constant reminder of the bleeding every time I use the bathroom, which is a lot. I told him that I think it is easier not to worry when the baby is not growing inside of you.
So we go back in two weeks for the 20 week appointment. We'll have the anatomy ultrasound to check on the baby's organ development, placement of the placenta, amniotic fluid level, etc. I am looking forward to seeing my sweet boy again, to finding out that everything is still progressing just fine, and to hopefully getting one or two more ultrasound pictures.
If you could please continue to pray for us (and especially me, I think at this point), I would really, really appreciate it. I need to somehow find some peace over this situation where I feel I have so little control.
Thank you, as always. <3
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Congratulations to US! (Soon-To-Be-Mamas Who Never Gave Up)
Last night Michael and I met Eileen and her husband Paul at a wonderful little hole-in-the-wall French bistro called Chez Machin. It's in SE Portland on Hawthorne right across from the Dosha spa where Eileen and I got pedicures back in April--just as she was getting ready to start her IVF cycle. That day we were looking for a good lunch place and thought we'd try Chez Machin. I loved it and not just because of the whole French thing. :) They have crepes (both savory and sweet) and they not only have crepes, but they have gluten-free crepes. Heaven.
For awhile now Eileen and I have been saying that we need to do something to celebrate getting pregnant--to recognize just how much of an accomplishment that is for us and everything we did (and are still doing) to get to this point. My first thought was to have a huge party, inviting everyone we know, play loud upbeat music and try to convey our joy to everyone that way. Eileen's thought was that we might enjoy ourselves more by having a small couples dinner where I could finally meet Paul and she could meet Michael. The more I thought about it, the more I liked her idea better than mine. After all, no one of our friends and family (as much as they love and support us) would really understand why we wanted to celebrate getting pregnant. It would more than likely turn into a sort of baby shower, with lots of attention focused on those little loves growing in our bellies--which would be okay too, and which we are both looking forward to at our respective showers--but what we most wanted was a chance to sit back, take a breath and say, "Wow, we really did it. Can you believe it?" We wanted to marvel at the miracle that is not only growing a baby in your belly for nine months, but the fact that that baby ever came into existence at all. Because believe me, I am quite sure we would not be where we are now had we not both taken the IVF gamble and gotten very, very lucky.
We had the most wonderful dinner together, chatting and laughing for close to three hours. Lucky for us, it is a French restaurant and they seem to follow the French philosophy that a really good meal with friends should last several hours. The vibe would have been way different if we'd felt rushed to finish our meal and vacate our table for whomever might be waiting. As it was, we got a nice cozy table in the back, which is actually a covered patio with space heaters placed strategically here and there so customers don't freeze their hineys off.
We all began our meal with soup (they had pea and I had French onion) and a toast with sparkling cider. I'd called earlier in the day to make a reservation and asked if it would be okay to bring a bottle of cider since Eileen and I wouldn't be able to indulge in wine. The manager was very kind to say it was totally fine and that they wouldn't even charge us a corking fee. The cider certainly added to the celebratory mood. I loved it.
Next came our main courses which were savory crepes for Paul, Michael and me, and ravioli for Eileen. My crepe was amazing . . . a folded square loaded with tomatoes, avocado, mushrooms, mozzarella, ham and a red pepper coulis on the side as a dressing. I was only able to eat about half of it because I wanted to save room for dessert.
And OH the dessert . . . my friends, if you are local, or if you ever have the chance to eat (or make) a crepe sucree (sweet crepe), please, please do so. You won't be disappointed. The one that was the hands-down favorite at our table was called "La Delice." It was a crepe filled with raspberry jam, vanilla custard and nutella. It was so, so, so good. I can't even put it into words. We also got "La Mont Blanc" which was a crepe stuffed with mixed local berries, chocolate and whipped cream. AND we got a side of vanilla bean ice cream to share. And then to make it even better, the first La Delice that the waitress brought was mistakenly made with a regular crepe instead of a gluten-free one . . . she came back and told us the mistake just as I put the first bite into my mouth. But no matter. She offered to whip us up another one tout de suite and said we could even keep the "mistake" for our trouble. Eileen, Paul and Michael gobbled it right up. :)
After we'd practically licked the dessert plates clean, we talked a bit more and then decided to call it a night--but not before taking pictures of the two pregnant ladies, to commemorate a most momentous event in all of our lives.
We did it. Not without tears, not without frustration, not without jealousy or overwhelming heartache.
But we did it.
And that is the most important thing.
 |
| Me and Eileen--18 weeks and 30 weeks |
For awhile now Eileen and I have been saying that we need to do something to celebrate getting pregnant--to recognize just how much of an accomplishment that is for us and everything we did (and are still doing) to get to this point. My first thought was to have a huge party, inviting everyone we know, play loud upbeat music and try to convey our joy to everyone that way. Eileen's thought was that we might enjoy ourselves more by having a small couples dinner where I could finally meet Paul and she could meet Michael. The more I thought about it, the more I liked her idea better than mine. After all, no one of our friends and family (as much as they love and support us) would really understand why we wanted to celebrate getting pregnant. It would more than likely turn into a sort of baby shower, with lots of attention focused on those little loves growing in our bellies--which would be okay too, and which we are both looking forward to at our respective showers--but what we most wanted was a chance to sit back, take a breath and say, "Wow, we really did it. Can you believe it?" We wanted to marvel at the miracle that is not only growing a baby in your belly for nine months, but the fact that that baby ever came into existence at all. Because believe me, I am quite sure we would not be where we are now had we not both taken the IVF gamble and gotten very, very lucky.
We had the most wonderful dinner together, chatting and laughing for close to three hours. Lucky for us, it is a French restaurant and they seem to follow the French philosophy that a really good meal with friends should last several hours. The vibe would have been way different if we'd felt rushed to finish our meal and vacate our table for whomever might be waiting. As it was, we got a nice cozy table in the back, which is actually a covered patio with space heaters placed strategically here and there so customers don't freeze their hineys off.
We all began our meal with soup (they had pea and I had French onion) and a toast with sparkling cider. I'd called earlier in the day to make a reservation and asked if it would be okay to bring a bottle of cider since Eileen and I wouldn't be able to indulge in wine. The manager was very kind to say it was totally fine and that they wouldn't even charge us a corking fee. The cider certainly added to the celebratory mood. I loved it.
Next came our main courses which were savory crepes for Paul, Michael and me, and ravioli for Eileen. My crepe was amazing . . . a folded square loaded with tomatoes, avocado, mushrooms, mozzarella, ham and a red pepper coulis on the side as a dressing. I was only able to eat about half of it because I wanted to save room for dessert.
And OH the dessert . . . my friends, if you are local, or if you ever have the chance to eat (or make) a crepe sucree (sweet crepe), please, please do so. You won't be disappointed. The one that was the hands-down favorite at our table was called "La Delice." It was a crepe filled with raspberry jam, vanilla custard and nutella. It was so, so, so good. I can't even put it into words. We also got "La Mont Blanc" which was a crepe stuffed with mixed local berries, chocolate and whipped cream. AND we got a side of vanilla bean ice cream to share. And then to make it even better, the first La Delice that the waitress brought was mistakenly made with a regular crepe instead of a gluten-free one . . . she came back and told us the mistake just as I put the first bite into my mouth. But no matter. She offered to whip us up another one tout de suite and said we could even keep the "mistake" for our trouble. Eileen, Paul and Michael gobbled it right up. :)
After we'd practically licked the dessert plates clean, we talked a bit more and then decided to call it a night--but not before taking pictures of the two pregnant ladies, to commemorate a most momentous event in all of our lives.
We did it. Not without tears, not without frustration, not without jealousy or overwhelming heartache.
But we did it.
And that is the most important thing.
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