13 Days and Counting!

Well, it is just a little less than 2 weeks before my mom and I head to the southeastern side of the country--we are both excited and counting down the days!

After work today I stopped at Powell's on my way home. I wanted to see if they had a copy of The Infertility Cure since I had to give back the one I borrowed from my RESOLVE support group. I was stunned to discover that not only didn't they have it (at any of their locations) but it wasn't even listed in their store computer as something they have ever carried! So, perhaps I will need to check out Amazon and see if I can find it there.

Never one to want to leave a bookstore empty-handed, I decided to poke around and see if I could find something fertility-related that looked like it would be a good read and a good resource. I think what I really wanted deep-down (maybe without being consciously aware of it), was a memoir. I wanted to read about some other woman's journey through infertility and see her make it out the other side. It couldn't be just any memoir, however. Something about her journey needed to mirror my own, so that I could relate to her, and in so doing, feel more confident about my own path to motherhood. Almost immediately, I pulled out a book called Inconceivable, and after I read the blurb on the back cover, I knew that I wanted to read the whole thing.

In a narrative filled with humor, heartache, and hope, Julia Indichova fearlessly documents her allegedly impossible mission to conceive a child. Her pilgrimage takes her through the offices of the best that modern medicine has to offer, as well as through a maze of surprising alternatives. The point is not which methods she chooses but how she chooses them--by paying careful attention to her needs and responses, a skill that not only brings her a child but changes her approach to life. Ultimately what Julia discovers, and what Inconceivable teaches us, is that when we have faith, and honor our own truth rather than docilely place ourselves in the hands of others, all the rules change. Whether we long to birth a child, a work of art, or a vital, fulfilling life, the journey begins with trusting our deepest wisdom: the expert within who always knows the next best step.

I love the part about how the important thing wasn't what specific medicine or protocol or practice she chose to help her get pregnant (because if there was a one-size-fits-all approach to this, none of us would be struggling) but that she chose what she felt would work best for her as an individual and that her choice was what helped shape her as an eventual mother and as a liver-of-life on this planet. This is how I feel about my trip to N.C. and about dedicating the next few months to healing my body and preparing a welcoming space (body, mind and spirit) for a baby. Beneath the surface of all of my fears and "what ifs" surrounding this decision I have made to follow the Chinese medicine program, the bottom line is that it still feels right to me. And even if it doesn't lead to a baby in the long run, I know it is giving me the motivation to do the work I keep putting off--the work of looking within and loving every bit of what I find there, even (especially!) the parts I don't like right now.

Plus, the foreword is written by Dr. Christiane Northrup, so I knew I was on the right track with a book I would like. :) I'll let you know how it goes . . .