Michael's Herbal Consult

Michael got in to see Jelena last Saturday, and she had some immediate recommendations for him. He said that she wants him to boost his immune system first and foremost, which will help get his body working at optimum levels in all areas.

Her recommendations were as follows:

• Change in diet--more fresh fruits & vegetables and fewer peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. :)



• 1 tablespoon cod liver oil 1x/day



• 1 4,000 IU vitamin D drop every other day



• Herbal formula in powdered form



• FertilAid fertility supplement

He already got started taking the cod liver oil . . . we were both a little nervous about buying it at first, because it's pricey and we worried he wouldn't be able to keep it down. But the Carlson's brand with the "great lemon flavor" was true to its word. Michael says it's really not that bad at all. I still haven't gotten brave enough to try it though. :)

He's taking the vitamin D drops too, and says they are tasteless. I think the vitamin D is supposed to help with the formation of sperm, as is the FertilAid supplement which we haven't yet ordered.

I feel good knowing that both of our needs are now being addressed, and I am hopeful for the future!

On Being Thankful Now

Today I got an email that Jelena sent out to her clients in honor of Thanksgiving. I want to remember it--not just for Thanksgiving, but for every day. And I want to share it with you.

Autumn Gratitude

Dear Amy,

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of the year when we are reminded to be grateful for all the blessings that we have in our lives. However, giving gratitude for what we have as opposed to focusing on the things that we don't have is not always easy. Being in a state in which you feel that your deepest desires are unfulfilled can leave you feeling depressed, angry, tired and physically sick.

As long as we expect that we can somehow find happiness outside of our own self, we are bound for disappointment. True happiness already resides within all of us, waiting to express itself in its best form. It is waiting to be freed from all the judgments, agendas, expectations and hopes that hinder its existence.

My wish is that all of us can drop our wants and needs for a moment and embrace this present moment, perfect in its imperfection.

Every day, I am grateful that you make it possible for me to do the job that I love.

Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving!

Jelena Stefanovic L.A.c DAOM

"Giving thanks for abundance is sweeter than the abundance itself."

-Rumi

Update!

It feels like it's been a LONG time since my last post . . . we've basically been in limbo waiting on results from a blood test that the urologist ordered a month ago. It took Michael calling once and me calling twice to finally get the results! But get them we did, and they are normal--which is good, but doesn't give us much information. The doctor said he could send Michael back in to test another hormone that might explain why his numbers are so low when his testosterone and FSH levels are fine.

So far, it's a mystery. I'm hoping that Jelena will be able to shed some light on it, or at least diagnose Michael from a Chinese medicine perspective and prescribe a good herbal treatment for him. He has an appointment for an herbal consult on December 11th. He'll probably need to take herbs for 6 months and then do another semen analysis. I am almost positive that we'll see a marked improvement in his numbers and when we do, we'll head on over to Oregon Reproductive Medicine for an IUI.

I am hoping we come to the next phase of this journey soon, but for now, I am still trying to be patient.

Blood Test Done!

I'm happy to report that we got in bright and early this morning for Michael's blood test. I was a little worried because yesterday I had gone online to try and reserve an appointment, but found that although the lab hours stated it was open on Saturday, there was no online scheduling option for that day. Weird.

We decided to just drive over since we needed to go run some other errands anyway, and were happy to discover that the lab was indeed open and better still, that there was no line. The lab tech took him back to collect his blood and it took all of about 3 minutes. Michael laughed when he came back to the lobby and saw my surprised face. "I bleed fast," he said.

I think that today, both of us feel better than we have since getting his initial test results about the low sperm count. I can't speak for him, but for me, the past few days have been a long, steep free-fall on the downhill portion of this roller coaster that is our journey--I think I've felt most of the "negative" emotions, sometimes all at once (anger, guilt, sadness, hopelessness, despair, etc). Only now am I beginning to feel optimistic again. We seem to be climbing once more in an upward direction as we discuss options and even crack jokes about using "cool packs" for Michael to lower his temperature and provide a nice, chill environment for those little sperm to mature.

It feels good to feel like at least we are in this together. And maybe right now, that is the most important thing.

Update on Michael

We were lucky enough to get Michael in to see a urologist yesterday. One office I called didn't have an opening until mid-November and another one was booked until Dec 1. For all of that, the doctor didn't have much to tell us: physically, Michael appears to be in good health. He got an order for a blood test to check his hormone levels. If he has a low level of testosterone, it could be the reason for the low numbers on his semen analysis. The other good news is that he can get the test done at a Quest Diagnostics lab near our house that has (wait for it) Saturday hours!!! He won't have to try to get time off of work, which I know makes him feel better.

We're in the process of researching supplements and trying to figure out what to order for Michael. There are quite a few options out there, which is good, but, as Jelena said, every product touts itself as the best one, so it becomes hard to decide which one to choose.

A Plan of Action

Yesterday I had my session with Jelena, and I gave her all of our updated information. Her take on it was that Michael's first step should definitely be to see a urologist and be evaluated for a low-level infection or for a varicocele. She said there were a number of things that could be causing the low numbers on the semen analysis, but it sounded like these were the most common.

After we know a little more about M's situation, he'll go see Jelena for an herbal consult and she'll devise a formula for him--probably much like the "tea" I take now. In the meantime, he'll start taking a supplement to boost sperm count and improve shape and motility. He'll need to take that at least 3 months because that is the amount of time it takes to mature sperm within the testicles. And I'm sure he'll have at least a couple more semen analyses to see if the numbers have improved. I am sure that with the implementation of both the supplement and the herbs, we will see at least some improvement!

As for me, Jelena didn't seem too concerned that the cyst has gotten bigger--which has helped relieve my mind. I'm not sure why, but I put tremendous stock in her opinion; maybe because she is a doctor too (just of Chinese medicine, not western medicine), and has had extensive training in women's health conditions. What she strongly recommended was having a consult with a reproductive endocrinologist (a fertility doctor) before having a laparoscopy, should I choose to go that route. Her point was that an R.E. would plan the best course of action for someone dealing with a potentially long-term ovarian cyst and trying hard to preserve her fertility. The doctor might suggest skipping the lap altogether and just watching the cyst while continuing on with plans for IUI after M's numbers look better. So that made me feel more relaxed about the whole thing. Funny how your mind can put you into a tailspin when someone mentions a possible "risky cyst" and when asked what that means exactly, says "cancer" as Dr. Bruner did.

Jelena did say that if we were to go to a fertility clinic right now, the doctors would likely take one look at our situation and immediately say "IVF," since the egg and sperm are combined for you and then placed directly in the uterus. But it is a very expensive procedure and frankly, doesn't work in many cases. What I told M last night is that it's hard for me to justify going that much into debt when in 2 tries of IVF we would be spending the same amount of money that it would take to adopt an infant.

So, there's where we are now on the path to parenthood. I like to think we are midway, but who knows really? All we can do is take one step at a time (I am learning that this is really the only way to approach this whole process while continuing to keep my sanity) and trust that when the time is right, all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place in exactly the way they are meant to.

I'll keep you posted.

And They're In

After a few days of phone tag, I finally got to speak with Dr. Bruner yesterday about the results of my ultrasound and Michael's semen analysis.

My test was both good, and not-so-good. The March ultrasound showed what looked like a small cyst inside my left ovary. That has resolved--the doctor thinks it was simply the remnant of the follicle from where I had ovulated. But the other cyst, the "tubular mass" as she described it, which she thought might be incorporating my left fallopian tube, has gotten bigger, not smaller. Not so big as to be truly alarming, but big enough that Dr. Bruner mentioned I may want to have another laparoscopy to find out for sure what it is.

Michael's test revealed low counts both in sperm concentration and in the number of "good" sperm (by which they mean well-shaped and able to make the journey to the egg) overall. She said an average concentration of sperm would be about 20 million in the size of the sample they look at, and Michael had about 5 million sperm. So that's not great. But she did say that although the numbers are low, it's not totally bleak. There's still something to work with. Her recommendation for Michael was to get evaluated at a urology clinic. Sometimes men can have a a varicose vein (called a varicocele) in one or both testicles, which can cause a back-up of blood in the testicles, which can raise the temperature to a level that isn't the best for sperm. And I know that there are various supplements and herbal formulas that he could try that would probably help boost both the number and quality of sperm. I meant to order some months ago, but just haven't done it.

To be honest, I think it was about what I was expecting, because I didn't really feel surprised at her news concerning either of us. I had a feeling we each had something contributing to our lack of conception (it has been nearly 5 1/2 years now), and Michael's numbers were low when he was tested 2 years ago. I guess I just didn't emphasize how low when I told him about it back then. . . maybe I still believed most of the problem lay with me.

My concern is that the tubular cyst is not getting smaller. I would have thought that the herbs would have had at least the effect of maintaining its current size, if not decreasing it. I have a session with Jelena this afternoon, and I plan to ask her about it and see what she recommends. My 4th order of herbs is on its way to me as I speak--complete with 2 more formulas--one each for the luteal phase and the follicular phase (the ones the Fertile Soul recommended and which I have been taking for 3 months) and one each for the days when I am ovulating and when I am menstruating (which Jelena advised). Maybe I just need some more time on the herbs. Maybe incorporating more self-massage (okay, actually doing some self-massage) would have an effect. I'll see what she thinks. Dr. Bruner said that if I choose not to have a laparoscopy at this time, I should schedule another ultrasound in 3 months so they can check the cyst to see what it is doing. I know it's probably nothing--probably some scar tissue or some endometrial tissue from the endometriosis as the doctor suggested--but it still makes me wonder and feel a little scared for what it also could be.