10 Weeks!

Today we are at 10 weeks with our little baby who is no longer an embryo but has officially become a fetus.

I am still feeling sick off and on, although it surprises me when I go a whole day (like last Saturday) with no nausea at all, then spend most of the day (like today) trying to stay at work when I would really like to be on the couch resting.  I joked with Michael that it must be because it's Monday.  :)

Last Thursday I saw Dr. Stempel briefly for a follow-up visit from the prior week.  He offered me an ultrasound, to help reassure me that the other baby was doing fine.  Michael and I talked about it, but decided we didn't need it, as I had seen the baby's heart beating just a week earlier.  And while I'm sure they are perfectly safe, if an ultrasound isn't medically necessary, I'd just prefer not to have one at this point.  We're just leaving the baby to grow and we'll check in again in a couple more weeks when I go back to the doctor.  By that time, we will be able to hear the heartbeat with a Doppler, and we can always have an ultrasound then if something doesn't sound quite right. 

Since we're not having twins anymore, I've pretty much decided that I want to find a midwife to be my primary caregiver during this pregnancy.  While I'm sure Dr. Stempel is terrific in an emergency, I'm just not feeling that nurturing sense from him that I know will help me relax and enjoy my pregnancy and ultimately, the birth of my baby.  I think I'm going to ask Dr. Stempel at our next visit how he feels about following my pregnancy as a kind of back-up emergency option.  If push came to shove and I did need some kind of intervention, I think I'd be comfortable with him doing it, and it would sure be a lot nicer than just getting whomever happened to be on call at the time.  But since most pregnancies and births aren't really complicated, I think I'd be most comfortable with a midwife.  I'm leaning more and more toward the waterbirth center that my friend used with the birth of her son.  I can definitely envision myself laboring and even giving birth immersed in lovely warm water.  It's a much more authentic picture for me of how I want to labor and give birth, than being flat on my back with my feet in stirrups and being told to push.  I'm not saying that that is wrong or bad, just that it's not the situation I will feel most relaxed in. 

So we'll see what he says.  I have to call tomorrow and change our appointment because we still have our original appointment (from when we thought we were having twins) scheduled for this Friday.  In a way, I'm glad we already know that we're just having one because if we had gone in there on Friday all excited to see our babies on the ultrasound, I would have been that much more devastated to get the news that one didn't make it.  While it's still hard letting go of what might have been, I think we are accepting what happened and are focusing more on what we have to look forward to than what we have lost. 

Yesterday, Michael went shopping for maternity bras with me (isn't he a sweet guy?), and was very patient while I got fitted at Nordstrom and tried on some bras, then went to a couple more places to see what they had.  I didn't end up finding what I really wanted (simple cotton bra without underwire but with wide straps), but I did make my very first "real" maternity purchase at the Motherhood store in Washington Square.  I teared up when we went in because I remembered other trips to the mall over the last six years, when Michael and I walked by the store and I would say how much I hoped to one day be able to shop there.  It hardly seemed real that I am suddenly now able to do just that! 

I guess I have to admit that it still doesn't feel quite real yet because I'm not showing much; the saleslady at Motherhood asked me how far along I was like she wasn't quite sure I belonged in there.  That could also have been because I had told her I was shopping for maternity bras.  I could tell she didn't think I needed one yet.  :)  Even though I didn't get exactly what I set out looking for, I still had fun shopping and imaging the not-so-distant day when I will need to buy bigger pants and tops.

I am so overjoyed to be pregnant and in just 30 more weeks, our little boy or little girl will be here. 

So, so exciting.  <3