We Have Begun

We have officially begun what I hope will be our IVF cycle . . . barring any more snafoos with OHSU.  I am doing my best to go with the flow, but sometimes it's tough. 

So last Friday was Day 1 of my period.  I called OHSU and left a message with a receptionist that we are due to begin our IVF cycle and that I was instructed to call with the beginning of menses.  She said (as they always do) that she would send an urgent message to the nursing staff and someone would get back to me.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I made sure my phone was in my pocket every time I left my desk and that the volume was as loud as it would go.  Still, by nearly 4p.m. I had heard nothing from them.  I remembered Eileen warning me that they closed at 4 or 4:30 and to make sure to call back if no one returned my call.  Since it was Friday, and since I didn't know if I would need to start any meds over the weekend, I figured I should call back. 

I talked to a different receptionist, a very nice guy named Nathan.  I explained the situation and he said he would send another urgent message to the nurses but that if I still hadn't heard anything by 5:30, I should call again and I would be routed directly to the hospital as their clinic would be closed.  He said I should ask for the fertility doctor on call.  I told him I would, but hoped it wouldn't come to that--it seemed like too minor of a thing to be paging an on-call doctor about. 

I did get a call just before 5 from the fertility clinic and the woman I spoke with seemed like she was in a hurry, no doubt because they were getting ready to leave for the weekend.  She confirmed that I was getting ready for an IVF cycle (yes! at least she knew it was IVF and not IUI), and then said she would look through my chart to make sure we had completed all of the necessary prerequisites.  After a moment or two she said she couldn't find Michael's STD test results.  I told her that I was pretty sure I had emailed them.  I knew I had tried sending them via OHSU's "MyChart" mail system, and had left at least two messages about them with no response from the office staff.  I'd also mentioned it to Dr. Patton when he'd called with Michael's semen analysis results, but the doctor was at home when he called and didn't know if they had received the bloodwork results or not.  I felt a little nervous at this point because here we were at the start of my period and they couldn't find his paperwork.  Then she said she couldn't find my STD test results and that irritated me because I handed them to a receptionist when I was in for my trial transfer May 10th.  I told her so, but she said she still couldn't find the results and was I absolutely sure that I had completed all of the prerequisites?  I know she probably didn't mean to come across the way she did, but I felt like a child being reprimanded.  I told her that I was certain we had done everything on the list we'd been given.  She sounded like she was doing me a huge favor when she said that she would go ahead and call in a birth control prescription for me to start on Sunday (Day 3), but that she was leaving herself a big note to follow up on this on Monday and if they couldn't find my paperwork, we might not be able to continue with the IVF cycle.  What could I do?  I agreed and hung up the phone, but was hurt by her attitude and by how our experience thus far has been mostly not user-friendly.  More on this later.

I got my prescription filled and began taking it on Sunday.  So far it's mostly as I remember the Pill being when I first began taking it years ago.  It's a bit too strong, so I have a slightly upset stomach most of the time.  It's nothing I can't handle, just a bummer that I feel this way without being pregnant yet.  I tell myself it's just a precursor of what is to come and to get used to it.  :)

Saturday I had another appointment with Jelena for acupuncture (I see her every Saturday now and will up it to twice a week once we get closer to retrieval and transfer).  After my appointment I had some time to myself before my next appointment so I spent a lovely couple of hours checking out a Friends of the Library (Multnomah County) bookstore on NW 23rd and having lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant.  I think the restaurant was the best part of my day because it was sunny out (!) and I had my own little table under an umbrella on their back patio.  I had my tea, my egg flower soup, egg roll and cashew chicken with rice.  Mostly, I had some time to myself and even though I did read a bit of one of the books I had just bought, I spent a lot of time breathing and enjoying the moment I was in.  I haven't gone to a restaurant like that by myself in a very long time (if ever), but it was lovely, and I know I will do it again soon. 

After lunch it was on to my abdominal massage appointment with Corrine.  She didn't do any deep work over my womb or ovaries since it was only Day 2 of my cycle, but she was able to do some important upper abdominal and thoracic work, releasing tension related to my chronic arm injury.  I almost completely fell asleep when I was on my tummy and she was working on my sacrum.  I was able to relax so deeply, and I knew that my body really needed it.  After nearly 2 hours with Corrine, I was feeling absolutely wonderful, as you can imagine.  My homework is to continue with the castor oil packs and self massage, until the egg retrieval part of the IVF cycle.

Monday I was expecting to get a call from OHSU saying that they still couldn't find my paperwork and I was prepared to do what I had to do in order to make this cycle a go.  I brought our records with me to work and planned to fax them if need be on my lunch break.  I got a call around 11 from the same lady I had spoken with on Friday and she was very pleasant, saying that they had all of our paperwork and that everything was just fine and we were on track for IVF.  I tried not to notice that she didn't apologize for what had happened on Friday, but it peeved me.  She did get us scheduled for an appointment on July 11th to meet with a nurse who will instruct us on how to do the injectable medications (the ones that will cause my ovaries to produce and mature a bunch of follicles).  It's an hour and a half long appointment, so I think we will just try to take the whole day off. 

Also on Monday, I got a call from Attain, the company recommended by OHSU, which offers multi-cycle plans at a discount and / or refund, which helps take some of the stress out of IVF.  I called back, but they are on the east coast, so I just left a message.  I heard back today (which was impressive), but still wasn't able to speak with anyone directly.  I called them back and left my email account so they could send me a contract to sign and submit. 

When I got home, sure enough there was the document, but it was the wrong one.  A couple of weeks ago I had spoken with the financial counselor at OHSU and thought I was clear about which plan we wanted to sign up for.  I guess I wasn't because when she contacted Attain for us, she told them we wanted a different one--a more expensive one.  The kicker is that there are still things we need to do in order to get the financing worked out--we have to read and sign the contract and send it back to them with copies of our driver's licenses and make sure we've been approved for a loan.  We should be okay on that end, as we already applied with Springstone, the loan company that OHSU recommended.  Again, just disappointing in that OHSU basically stays out of the financing part of the experience.  The most they did was give us the phone number for the loan company so we could apply on our own and give Attain the wrong information about which plan we want to do.  Frustrating. 

I feel like this post is mostly me complaining, which isn't my intent.  I could gloss over everything, but I want to keep a record of what we are doing.  I want those of you following our story to know a little more about what couples dealing with fertility challenges go through.  If any of you reading this are nurses or doctors, or assistants or receptionists in a medical office or other healthcare setting, I hope you will be patient with us and try to understand that we are navigating what to us are the brand-new and often confusing waters of ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) Land.  I hope that you will take a little extra time to really look through an IUI or IVF patient's file before calling her and telling her that you can't find her paperwork and hinting that maybe she has dropped the ball and will have to wait another month to begin what to her is the most important cycle she's ever had.  I hope that you will be big enough and brave enough to say you're sorry when the office hasn't returned her calls or emails and that you won't take the easy way out and blame the problem on staff turnover.  We're not trying to make your job harder or annoy you.  We are looking for compassion and a friendly voice letting us know that we are not in this alone.  To you it may be "just a job," but to us, it's our child--the one most of us will not have without your help.

I guess that's enough of me being on my soapbox.  I know we'll get there.  It's just that sometimes the journey is a little much, you know?

Tomorrow I will call Attain and explain the mix-up and hopefully we will be able to get this straightened out before we leave on Thursday for San Francisco.  What worries me is that all the financing is supposed to be done at least 2 weeks before starting injections . . . which is about where we are at right now.

Did I mention how glad I am we are going on vacation on Thursday?  :)