Seven Weeks for Eileen

I had lunch with Eileen yesterday.  It was the first time we'd seen each other since knowing she is officially pregnant.  The last time was a couple of days after her transfer.  We were planning to eat at my favorite Chinese restaurant in the Pearl District, but Eileen wasn't sure she could handle it; she's been experiencing some fairly strong morning sickness lately.  We opted for a Laughing Planet cafe across the street, where she could get a smoothie.  I had a bean and spinach burrito which was really very good.

I think she was a little apprehensive about seeing me--maybe unsure of how I would react to her new pregnant state.  She said a couple of times that she wanted to know about how I am doing, and didn't really tell me how she is feeling until I told her I wanted to know and that I am happy for her.  Lord knows she deserves to be pregnant after trying for three long years and being unsuccessful with several artificial insemination procedures.

I won't lie--it wasn't easy at first, hearing about her pregnancy, as it never is.  I went through a couple of days of "poor me," but that feeling passed (as it always does), and in all truth, I am kind of relieved that she has paved the way by going through the IVF process first.  I know our experiences won't be exactly the same, but at least I have a little better idea of how things will happen once Michael and I start our own IVF cycle.  And when I think about the egg retrieval and get a little spark of anxiety in my belly, I tell myself that Eileen did it, and so can I. 

She very graciously loaned me a different fertility affirmations CD than the one I have been listening to in the car, to and from work, as well as a couple of fertility yoga DVDs.  I 'm really looking forward to trying the yoga because as much as I like the Nurturing Woman qigong that I've been doing, I've missed the stretch my body gets by doing poses. 

Eileen and her husband have "graduated" from OHSU since the ultrasound they had last week showed that one of those little baby beginnings that was transferred into her womb has turned into a tiny beating heart.  She said it was a pretty incredible experience to see and hear her baby's heartbeat.  I can only imagine how it would feel after trying to get pregnant for such a long time.  I know I will be crying when it's my turn.

Now they wait a couple more weeks, then go in for an ultrasound at their new health clinic to make sure that the baby is continuing to grow. 

Her due date is January 26th.

Again, I want to thank each of you who sent your good wishes to Eileen and her little embryos when she was having her egg retrieval and transfer.  I know that your thoughts and prayers helped her, without you ever having met her.  Please continue to send her encouragement and thoughts of strength and love, as this is still a fragile time for her, fraught with anxiety that something could go wrong.  And even though she is pregnant, it's so early on that it really hasn't become real for her yet . . . she is still very much feeling as she did when she was one of the many, many women who struggle to conceive and are faced with heartbreak every month.  I think it will be awhile yet before she feels like she has crossed over to the land of diapers and car seats--and maybe she never will.  Maybe this journey will leave her slightly apart in an emotional sense from those who have not used fertility services to have their children.  It remains to be seen.

I'll keep you updated.