I had my acupuncture session yesterday, but I met with Jelena's business partner, Lisa Pool, since Jelena is still out of the country visiting family.
I liked Lisa a lot; she was warm and funny, and had a joyful bubbly sense about her that was different from the artificial cheer I experienced with Dr. Bruner. Lisa was down-to-earth while still being professional and I appreciated that. My appointment started just before 4pm and she took the needles out at 5:15pm: once again, I felt like I had been adequately seen and heard, and I left with some new ideas about my health.
I didn't have to fill out any new paperwork since Lisa had the forms I had filled out for Jelena in July. She looked at them and asked me questions about the symptoms I have been and am still experiencing. What jumped out at her was a possibility of food allergies, fructose malabsorption or a gluten sensitivity. A naturopath I was seeing several years ago did a blood test for food allergies and nothing significant really came up, but given the symptoms I continue to experience, Lisa thought it would be a good idea to get checked out again. When I mentioned that my half-sister had recently been diagnosed with a pretty high gluten sensitivity, she was even more convinced that gluten is playing a role in why I continue to feel sluggish and have gastrointestinal problems. She also wants a hormone panel done including a full thyroid check because I guess Dr. Bruner didn't have my T3 levels checked when she ordered blood work last March.
Lisa is referring me to a naturopath named Dr. Jessica Black at A Family Healing Center http://www.afamilyhealingcenter.com/ I haven't been to see a naturopath in about two years, so I suppose it's time to get myself back in there. And I'm excited to see someone who specializes in supporting women's health. She published a book in 2006 called The Anti-Inflammation Diet and I am curious to see how it is different from the Fertile Soul's Spleen Qi diet and from the endometriosis diet that I followed for awhile.
Lisa also gave me some more information about Oregon Reproductive Medicine, in case we decide to go there for an IUI (intrauterine insemination) in a few months. Four doctors comprise the practice and she told me a little about each of them; she has firsthand knowledge since they helped her and her partner conceive their son. It was nice to learn some more about the clinic and nice to know that Lisa recommends them above the other fertility clinics in Portland. She said they are pro-acupuncture and we agreed that that probably has much to do with their high rate of live births.
She thought it will be important to see the results of next week's ultrasound in order to determine how well my ovaries are functioning . . . and then getting Michael's sperm test too, of course. That last bit has been stressful for both of us--frustrating for him because he feels like his job responsibilities prevent him from taking time off now when they have a heavy workload (and no one knows when it will ease up) and frustrating for me because I sometimes feel like I am doing a lot of this work on my own.
I guess this is where patience really comes into play--patience for Michael, patience for myself, and patience for our baby who is out there somewhere, waiting for just the right time to come into our lives.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Insight . . .
"No good thing is easy." They told us that,
while we dug our fingers into the stones
and looked beseechingly into their eyes.
They say the hurt is good for you. It makes
what comes later a gift all the more
precious in your bleeding hands.
---excerpt from "Consolations"
by William Stafford
while we dug our fingers into the stones
and looked beseechingly into their eyes.
They say the hurt is good for you. It makes
what comes later a gift all the more
precious in your bleeding hands.
---excerpt from "Consolations"
by William Stafford
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Another Pelvic Ultrasound Scheduled
I got a call from Dr. Bruner's office last Friday and then again yesterday, asking me to call to schedule another pelvic ultrasound. They received the results of my HSG and were very pleased. :) The nurse who left the voicemail said the doctor wants to check on my ovaries and see if the endometrioma-like cysts have changed at all since March.
I am curious too, to see if things look different, now that I have been taking the herbs for three months. I'm trying to prepare myself to be happy with a small decrease in size, but what I am really hoping for is news that the cysts are not even apparent anymore. THAT would be sweet news indeed. And while I am fairly certain I do not want to work with this doctor much in the future (see March's post), I don't think I mind using her to get another ultrasound. I only feel a little bit guilty about that. :) I'm scheduled to go in on Friday, September 24th after work.
Other news . . . Michael and I are trying to figure out when he can go in to get his sperm tested. He had one test two years ago that showed some low numbers, but Michael is convinced that that was due to the massive amounts of Mt. Dew he was in the habit of drinking at the time. ;) Be that as it may, we definitely need some current information to work with. The problem is that the clinic is open for testing Monday through Friday during regular work hours and Michael often doesn't know how many hours he will need to work from week to week, and is often working overtime. We have decided that the best approach is to feel his boss out for how things are looking workload-wise on a Monday, then see if he can get Friday afternoon of that week off (or at least leave at his regular time of 2pm) so he can go do the test. I am making it our goal to get it done before Halloween.
I also have a session scheduled with Jelena, the acupuncturist and doctor at Red Peony acupuncture. She was on vacation for a month, but is back now and will see me on September 17th. I'm looking forward to getting on track with acupuncture treatments because I know it will help me feel calmer as well as help with the endometriosis. My insurance will pay for 5 sessions with the other acupuncturist at Red Peony, but not with Jelena so my plan is to alternate sessions between them to spread out the cost a bit. I'd like to get acupuncture during the first part of my cycle and also during the last part, to help with pain and PMS symptoms.
I haven't scheduled yet with Corrinne Porterfield-Brown, who does the Mayan abdominal massage, but I plan to do so soon. And the yoga studio near my house has an evening gentle yoga class starting next week that I am determined to check out! :)
I am curious too, to see if things look different, now that I have been taking the herbs for three months. I'm trying to prepare myself to be happy with a small decrease in size, but what I am really hoping for is news that the cysts are not even apparent anymore. THAT would be sweet news indeed. And while I am fairly certain I do not want to work with this doctor much in the future (see March's post), I don't think I mind using her to get another ultrasound. I only feel a little bit guilty about that. :) I'm scheduled to go in on Friday, September 24th after work.
Other news . . . Michael and I are trying to figure out when he can go in to get his sperm tested. He had one test two years ago that showed some low numbers, but Michael is convinced that that was due to the massive amounts of Mt. Dew he was in the habit of drinking at the time. ;) Be that as it may, we definitely need some current information to work with. The problem is that the clinic is open for testing Monday through Friday during regular work hours and Michael often doesn't know how many hours he will need to work from week to week, and is often working overtime. We have decided that the best approach is to feel his boss out for how things are looking workload-wise on a Monday, then see if he can get Friday afternoon of that week off (or at least leave at his regular time of 2pm) so he can go do the test. I am making it our goal to get it done before Halloween.
I also have a session scheduled with Jelena, the acupuncturist and doctor at Red Peony acupuncture. She was on vacation for a month, but is back now and will see me on September 17th. I'm looking forward to getting on track with acupuncture treatments because I know it will help me feel calmer as well as help with the endometriosis. My insurance will pay for 5 sessions with the other acupuncturist at Red Peony, but not with Jelena so my plan is to alternate sessions between them to spread out the cost a bit. I'd like to get acupuncture during the first part of my cycle and also during the last part, to help with pain and PMS symptoms.
I haven't scheduled yet with Corrinne Porterfield-Brown, who does the Mayan abdominal massage, but I plan to do so soon. And the yoga studio near my house has an evening gentle yoga class starting next week that I am determined to check out! :)
Friday, August 13, 2010
Oh Happy Day!
You can most likely tell from the title of this post that I had good news today when I went in for the HSG. :)
And YES, the news is good--much, much, MUCH better than I was expecting, given my history of endometriosis and the results of the pelvic ultrasound I had last March that showed a strong likelihood of endometrial involvement with my ovaries.
Most of you following this blog know of my struggle between having the test and not having it. I scheduled it after meeting with a local acupuncturist who strongly urged me to have the test pronto before proceeding any further with alternative treatments. I scheduled the test, then had a couple of weeks to wait since it needed to be done before ovulation. I kept wondering if I was making the right decision. It would cost several hundred dollars that insurance would not cover, and there was a chance of having a "false positive" result. Basically, the tubes might appear blocked when they really aren't; apparently, the fallopian tubes can spasm during the test and keep the dye from flowing freely out the ends of the tubes, thus appearing blocked.
As I was weighing the pros and cons of having the test, I received an email from one of the girls who attended the retreat with me in April. She wanted to know how things were going, so I told her of my scheduled HSG. She emailed back a reply that shook me. She also had had an HSG, but her tubes had spasmed during the test and she had spent several weeks thinking that her chances of conceiving were nil. Then she got pregnant, so she knew that she had had a false positive HSG test result. My friend's story really made me question the wisdom of having the test done. I knew that if I got news that my tubes were blocked, it would be very, very difficult for me to keep any hope in my heart.
Then I talked with Lindsey last night via Facebook chat. I told her I was scared and she listened to my fears and then gave it to me straight--as she has done many, many times in the many years of our friendship (thanks, Man!). :) She reminded me that it was just a test, just a gathering of information. The results would not define me or my chances of getting pregnant.
I felt better going into today, but still nervous. All day at work, I checked the clock and counted down the hours until my test. I told myself that if I really had a bad feeling about it once I got there, I could still cancel it. But I also told myself just to breathe, that I could do this, and that at least I would have some definitive information--and it wouldn't be as invasive as surgery.
The girl who came to get me from the waiting room looked to be about my age. She smiled and took me back to a small changing area, where she handed me a gown and sheet. After I was done changing, I pulled the curtain back open and the girl was back and ready to lead me to the room where the test would be performed. My heart jumped a bit when I saw that she was covered from neck to feet in the longest lead apron I have ever seen. It reminded me that I was about to get zapped with radiation, in precisely the area that was always so carefully covered whenever I have had x-rays in the past. I told myself that it would be fine. She was exposed many times a day, whereas I was only having this small test.
The doctor was waiting for me, alone in the dimly lit imaging area. She looked to be in her early to mid fifties and had a calm presence that helped put me at ease. She introduced herself, shaking my hand, and then asked if I was nervous. When I said that I was, she smiled and said it was normal to feel that way and that she would tell me everything that would be happening as we proceeded with the test.
She got me situated on a table covered in sheets and pillows, and then positioned me so that she could insert a tube that would shoot dye into my uterus. It was then I noticed the large monitor to my left. The doctor indicated that pictures of my uterus and fallopian tubes would show up in real time as they took the xrays and she would be able to give me the results of the test right away. The girl who had brought me in moved the camera over my abdomen and began taking pictures. A ghostly shape that looked like intestines appeared on the monitor. I took deep breaths as the doctor got the tube in place, then watched the monitor astounded as I saw dye begin to fill a portion of the lower screen. It showed up dark against the pale background of my other abdominal organs. I knew the dark patch I was seeing must be my uterus, and with my eyes I willed the dye to flow out where I imagined my tubes to be. I didn't have long to wait! Soon I saw thin lines leading away from my uterus and held my breath to see if she would say they were open or not.
"Well, your right tube is open," she said, and my heart almost stopped. I really couldn't believe what I had just heard.
"Yes, you definitely have something to work with here," she added.
"That's awesome," I said. I could not take my eyes off the screen. When she told me that the other tube was also open, it was just too much. I think I said something like, "Wow, I can't believe it." I was just absolutely floored.
The doctor removed the tube and then had me roll over on the table 360 degrees. She had her assistant take another picture to be sure that the fluid was flowing out of the tubes and into my abdominal cavity. That last picture just looked like a blur of light and dark. I looked at the doctor with raised eyebrows, but she said that everything looked great--my uterus too.
When I told her that I really couldn't believe that everything looked so good given all my years of endometriosis, she nodded gravely and said, "You are very lucky." Then she told me that my doctor (the one who ordered the test) would want me to try to get pregnant this cycle since there is a slight percentage of women who conceive immediately following an HSG. No one really knows the reason why this happens, but the theory is that the dye moving through the tubes helps wash out any debris and allows the egg to move freely through to the uterus.
I changed back into my clothes in a daze and left the office feeling like a prisoner who has just been granted a reprieve. It may sound overly dramatic, but I had really been expecting to hear that one or both tubes were completely blocked. To hear the exact opposite was sweet music indeed.
I think having this test was money well spent--even if I don't know for sure that the tubes are healthy enough to move an egg through or if there might be a problem with too much mucous interfering with the egg, at least I know they are not blocked!!!!
The test results have helped boost my confidence and my faith in myself. I think that alone was worth the money.
:)
And YES, the news is good--much, much, MUCH better than I was expecting, given my history of endometriosis and the results of the pelvic ultrasound I had last March that showed a strong likelihood of endometrial involvement with my ovaries.
Most of you following this blog know of my struggle between having the test and not having it. I scheduled it after meeting with a local acupuncturist who strongly urged me to have the test pronto before proceeding any further with alternative treatments. I scheduled the test, then had a couple of weeks to wait since it needed to be done before ovulation. I kept wondering if I was making the right decision. It would cost several hundred dollars that insurance would not cover, and there was a chance of having a "false positive" result. Basically, the tubes might appear blocked when they really aren't; apparently, the fallopian tubes can spasm during the test and keep the dye from flowing freely out the ends of the tubes, thus appearing blocked.
As I was weighing the pros and cons of having the test, I received an email from one of the girls who attended the retreat with me in April. She wanted to know how things were going, so I told her of my scheduled HSG. She emailed back a reply that shook me. She also had had an HSG, but her tubes had spasmed during the test and she had spent several weeks thinking that her chances of conceiving were nil. Then she got pregnant, so she knew that she had had a false positive HSG test result. My friend's story really made me question the wisdom of having the test done. I knew that if I got news that my tubes were blocked, it would be very, very difficult for me to keep any hope in my heart.
Then I talked with Lindsey last night via Facebook chat. I told her I was scared and she listened to my fears and then gave it to me straight--as she has done many, many times in the many years of our friendship (thanks, Man!). :) She reminded me that it was just a test, just a gathering of information. The results would not define me or my chances of getting pregnant.
I felt better going into today, but still nervous. All day at work, I checked the clock and counted down the hours until my test. I told myself that if I really had a bad feeling about it once I got there, I could still cancel it. But I also told myself just to breathe, that I could do this, and that at least I would have some definitive information--and it wouldn't be as invasive as surgery.
The girl who came to get me from the waiting room looked to be about my age. She smiled and took me back to a small changing area, where she handed me a gown and sheet. After I was done changing, I pulled the curtain back open and the girl was back and ready to lead me to the room where the test would be performed. My heart jumped a bit when I saw that she was covered from neck to feet in the longest lead apron I have ever seen. It reminded me that I was about to get zapped with radiation, in precisely the area that was always so carefully covered whenever I have had x-rays in the past. I told myself that it would be fine. She was exposed many times a day, whereas I was only having this small test.
The doctor was waiting for me, alone in the dimly lit imaging area. She looked to be in her early to mid fifties and had a calm presence that helped put me at ease. She introduced herself, shaking my hand, and then asked if I was nervous. When I said that I was, she smiled and said it was normal to feel that way and that she would tell me everything that would be happening as we proceeded with the test.
She got me situated on a table covered in sheets and pillows, and then positioned me so that she could insert a tube that would shoot dye into my uterus. It was then I noticed the large monitor to my left. The doctor indicated that pictures of my uterus and fallopian tubes would show up in real time as they took the xrays and she would be able to give me the results of the test right away. The girl who had brought me in moved the camera over my abdomen and began taking pictures. A ghostly shape that looked like intestines appeared on the monitor. I took deep breaths as the doctor got the tube in place, then watched the monitor astounded as I saw dye begin to fill a portion of the lower screen. It showed up dark against the pale background of my other abdominal organs. I knew the dark patch I was seeing must be my uterus, and with my eyes I willed the dye to flow out where I imagined my tubes to be. I didn't have long to wait! Soon I saw thin lines leading away from my uterus and held my breath to see if she would say they were open or not.
"Well, your right tube is open," she said, and my heart almost stopped. I really couldn't believe what I had just heard.
"Yes, you definitely have something to work with here," she added.
"That's awesome," I said. I could not take my eyes off the screen. When she told me that the other tube was also open, it was just too much. I think I said something like, "Wow, I can't believe it." I was just absolutely floored.
The doctor removed the tube and then had me roll over on the table 360 degrees. She had her assistant take another picture to be sure that the fluid was flowing out of the tubes and into my abdominal cavity. That last picture just looked like a blur of light and dark. I looked at the doctor with raised eyebrows, but she said that everything looked great--my uterus too.
When I told her that I really couldn't believe that everything looked so good given all my years of endometriosis, she nodded gravely and said, "You are very lucky." Then she told me that my doctor (the one who ordered the test) would want me to try to get pregnant this cycle since there is a slight percentage of women who conceive immediately following an HSG. No one really knows the reason why this happens, but the theory is that the dye moving through the tubes helps wash out any debris and allows the egg to move freely through to the uterus.
I changed back into my clothes in a daze and left the office feeling like a prisoner who has just been granted a reprieve. It may sound overly dramatic, but I had really been expecting to hear that one or both tubes were completely blocked. To hear the exact opposite was sweet music indeed.
I think having this test was money well spent--even if I don't know for sure that the tubes are healthy enough to move an egg through or if there might be a problem with too much mucous interfering with the egg, at least I know they are not blocked!!!!
The test results have helped boost my confidence and my faith in myself. I think that alone was worth the money.
:)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
HSG Scheduled
It's been awhile since my last post. I've been trying to decide what to do about the hysterosalpingogram test and what I've decided is to just go ahead and do it. At least that way, I'll know what I'm working with and Michael and I can go from there when making plans for our next steps to becoming parents.
My test is scheduled for August 13, pending the arrival of my next period--the test is generally done within the first 11 days of the cycle, but not during bleeding. My period hasn't been following a 28 day pattern, so I had to make an educated guess in terms of scheduling the test. If it arrives late, I'll probably need to reschedule.
Where I am now . . . I've been taking the herbs, Wobenzym, Nattokinase & OPC supplements recommended by the Fertile Soul, pretty religiously. I have done a few castor oil packs and some abdominal massage, but not as regularly as I am "supposed" to. I think I have been feeling depressed about the whole thing again and feeling like giving up--not a great place to be, but there you have it. I wonder why it is so easy for me to get discouraged in this process. Maybe because it feels like it has been dragging on for so long . . . maybe that is to be expected. I don't know. Sometimes I do feel like I am too easily swayed by something I hear (either positive or negative). I think it's hard knowing when to believe in the possibility of a successful outcome using an alternative medical treatment and when to be "realistic." Likewise, it's tough knowing how much stock to put in test results . . . I guess it's something I have to figure out on my own.
I know this sad feeling will pass eventually (might pass more quickly if I did some yoga or qi gong!), but for right now I am trying to just accept what is, right now, in the present moment.
My test is scheduled for August 13, pending the arrival of my next period--the test is generally done within the first 11 days of the cycle, but not during bleeding. My period hasn't been following a 28 day pattern, so I had to make an educated guess in terms of scheduling the test. If it arrives late, I'll probably need to reschedule.
Where I am now . . . I've been taking the herbs, Wobenzym, Nattokinase & OPC supplements recommended by the Fertile Soul, pretty religiously. I have done a few castor oil packs and some abdominal massage, but not as regularly as I am "supposed" to. I think I have been feeling depressed about the whole thing again and feeling like giving up--not a great place to be, but there you have it. I wonder why it is so easy for me to get discouraged in this process. Maybe because it feels like it has been dragging on for so long . . . maybe that is to be expected. I don't know. Sometimes I do feel like I am too easily swayed by something I hear (either positive or negative). I think it's hard knowing when to believe in the possibility of a successful outcome using an alternative medical treatment and when to be "realistic." Likewise, it's tough knowing how much stock to put in test results . . . I guess it's something I have to figure out on my own.
I know this sad feeling will pass eventually (might pass more quickly if I did some yoga or qi gong!), but for right now I am trying to just accept what is, right now, in the present moment.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
A Second Opinion
Friday I met with an acupuncturist specializing in women's fertility--Jelena Stefanovic at Red Peony acupuncture. My friend Eileen had recently gone to see her and was so moved by what she had to say about the treatment plan she was on that she decided to stop seeing her old acupuncturist and switch to this new lady.
While my Fertile Soul treatment plan listed acupuncture points I should be getting, I had not yet found anyone to do the actual needling. I wasn't sure how to go about it since basically I felt like I didn't need another diagnosis--just someone to follow the treatment plan and make sure all of the points were being addressed. All the same, I still felt like I didn't want to see just anybody, and when Eileen told me she got the referral to Red Peony acupuncture from the staff at the Fertile Soul, it seemed like I had found my local provider.
I called on Wednesday and explained my situation to Jelena, who is not only an acupuncturist, but also the doctor of Chinese medicine who founded Red Peony. She said that even though I had already received a Chinese medicine evaluation and diagnosis, she would still like to go over my health history and basically conduct a new patient exam before doing any needling. And honestly, as a formerly practicing massage therapist, I can understand the value of conducting one's own review of a patient's condition and health before jumping into following someone else's treatment recommendations.
Happily, the acupuncture clinic is located just over a mile from where I work in northwest Portland, and I was even able to find a parking place nearby--no small miracle for that part of town. The clinic itself was small but clean and I was the only patient there. It was nice because Jelena was focused entirely on me and my session.
I found Jelena to be kind, professional and thorough--all qualities one would hope to find in any health care provider. She agreed with the Fertile Soul's diagnosis, but said if she were putting together an herbal formula for me, she would have me on three different formulas instead of two (right now I take one herbal tea formula before ovulation and a different formula after ovulation). She would have me taking a third formula during the first four days of my period, she said, and would add more herbs to combat the nausea I experience and also more herbs to move blood. She said that I am definitely getting some of those herbs with my formulas, but not as much as she thought I would be on, given my health history.
What really threw me for a loop was when she asked me if I have had a hysterosalpingogram--it's the test that shows whether or not the fallopian tubes are blocked. Blockage can occur from adhesions (where the tissue is stuck together as a result of inflammation and scarring), or from the tubes filling with fluid or pus and Jelena said that with my history of 20 years of endometriosis, she would recommend getting the test before I do anything else. She said that if my tubes were completely blocked, I would basically just be wasting my time with the herbs and acupuncture.
I could not believe what I was hearing--I told her that my understanding was that the herbs, acupuncture and abdominal / pelvic massage could reverse the effects of endometriosis (albeit over a period of several months to years) and that anyone, at any stage of the disease, still had a chance of conceiving on her own. This was not Jelena's opinion.
I left the clinic upset and cried on my way home. I really didn't (and still don't) know what to believe. Here I had just come from a retreat where Randine specifically said that a woman who had come to her with Stage 4 (the worst) endometriosis had conceived following her Fertile Soul treatment plan, and now I was hearing that it may not be possible for me given the likelihood that my case is fairly severe. Granted, I couldn't remember Randine saying anything about blocked fallopian tubes, but my impression was certainly that the abdominal massage we learned while at the retreat could help clear up any scarring and adhesions we might have.
I wondered if Jelena was more like a Western medical doctor who would be quick to say, "Oh, with your history, you'd better not waste your time trying to conceive naturally or even with an IUI. You'd better go straight to IVF." Or was she being realistic?
When I got home I looked up the chapter in The Infertility Cure about blocked fallopian tubes and Randine says that there are several Chinese medicine techniques that can be used to help clear blocked tubes--herbs can be taken orally to help alleviate inflammation (which I'm already doing) and in China, they are sometimes injected directly into the uterus where they flow out through the tubes to help heal them. That last practice is not allowed in the U.S., unfortunately. Randine says that women can use herbal enemas or suppositories and use specific acupoints to help clear blood stasis which is often associated with blocked fallopian tubes. And then there is a paragraph on massage that can be done deeply and as Randine says "can apply enough friction to the fallopian tubes to resolve the adhesions manually."
To me that doesn't sound like "you have no chance of conceiving naturally and would just be wasting your time and money to keep trying acupuncture and herbs." So you see the difficulty. Who to believe? What to do?
I think the test would be great to have done so I would at least know the condition of my fallopian tubes, but it is quite expensive and is something that our insurance will not cover at all.
I still have a hysterosalpingogram referral from my last OBGYN visit in March, so maybe I will call next week and see if I can get an estimate of the cost. I need to talk to Michael too and see what he thinks, but I am leaning more toward having the test done.
I'm just afraid of what I might find out.
While my Fertile Soul treatment plan listed acupuncture points I should be getting, I had not yet found anyone to do the actual needling. I wasn't sure how to go about it since basically I felt like I didn't need another diagnosis--just someone to follow the treatment plan and make sure all of the points were being addressed. All the same, I still felt like I didn't want to see just anybody, and when Eileen told me she got the referral to Red Peony acupuncture from the staff at the Fertile Soul, it seemed like I had found my local provider.
I called on Wednesday and explained my situation to Jelena, who is not only an acupuncturist, but also the doctor of Chinese medicine who founded Red Peony. She said that even though I had already received a Chinese medicine evaluation and diagnosis, she would still like to go over my health history and basically conduct a new patient exam before doing any needling. And honestly, as a formerly practicing massage therapist, I can understand the value of conducting one's own review of a patient's condition and health before jumping into following someone else's treatment recommendations.
Happily, the acupuncture clinic is located just over a mile from where I work in northwest Portland, and I was even able to find a parking place nearby--no small miracle for that part of town. The clinic itself was small but clean and I was the only patient there. It was nice because Jelena was focused entirely on me and my session.
I found Jelena to be kind, professional and thorough--all qualities one would hope to find in any health care provider. She agreed with the Fertile Soul's diagnosis, but said if she were putting together an herbal formula for me, she would have me on three different formulas instead of two (right now I take one herbal tea formula before ovulation and a different formula after ovulation). She would have me taking a third formula during the first four days of my period, she said, and would add more herbs to combat the nausea I experience and also more herbs to move blood. She said that I am definitely getting some of those herbs with my formulas, but not as much as she thought I would be on, given my health history.
What really threw me for a loop was when she asked me if I have had a hysterosalpingogram--it's the test that shows whether or not the fallopian tubes are blocked. Blockage can occur from adhesions (where the tissue is stuck together as a result of inflammation and scarring), or from the tubes filling with fluid or pus and Jelena said that with my history of 20 years of endometriosis, she would recommend getting the test before I do anything else. She said that if my tubes were completely blocked, I would basically just be wasting my time with the herbs and acupuncture.
I could not believe what I was hearing--I told her that my understanding was that the herbs, acupuncture and abdominal / pelvic massage could reverse the effects of endometriosis (albeit over a period of several months to years) and that anyone, at any stage of the disease, still had a chance of conceiving on her own. This was not Jelena's opinion.
I left the clinic upset and cried on my way home. I really didn't (and still don't) know what to believe. Here I had just come from a retreat where Randine specifically said that a woman who had come to her with Stage 4 (the worst) endometriosis had conceived following her Fertile Soul treatment plan, and now I was hearing that it may not be possible for me given the likelihood that my case is fairly severe. Granted, I couldn't remember Randine saying anything about blocked fallopian tubes, but my impression was certainly that the abdominal massage we learned while at the retreat could help clear up any scarring and adhesions we might have.
I wondered if Jelena was more like a Western medical doctor who would be quick to say, "Oh, with your history, you'd better not waste your time trying to conceive naturally or even with an IUI. You'd better go straight to IVF." Or was she being realistic?
When I got home I looked up the chapter in The Infertility Cure about blocked fallopian tubes and Randine says that there are several Chinese medicine techniques that can be used to help clear blocked tubes--herbs can be taken orally to help alleviate inflammation (which I'm already doing) and in China, they are sometimes injected directly into the uterus where they flow out through the tubes to help heal them. That last practice is not allowed in the U.S., unfortunately. Randine says that women can use herbal enemas or suppositories and use specific acupoints to help clear blood stasis which is often associated with blocked fallopian tubes. And then there is a paragraph on massage that can be done deeply and as Randine says "can apply enough friction to the fallopian tubes to resolve the adhesions manually."
To me that doesn't sound like "you have no chance of conceiving naturally and would just be wasting your time and money to keep trying acupuncture and herbs." So you see the difficulty. Who to believe? What to do?
I think the test would be great to have done so I would at least know the condition of my fallopian tubes, but it is quite expensive and is something that our insurance will not cover at all.
I still have a hysterosalpingogram referral from my last OBGYN visit in March, so maybe I will call next week and see if I can get an estimate of the cost. I need to talk to Michael too and see what he thinks, but I am leaning more toward having the test done.
I'm just afraid of what I might find out.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Surfacing--Again
My period started Saturday while we were camping at the beach with our friends. It's the first one I've had since beginning the herbs and while I wasn't expecting a miracle, I think I was hoping for a dramatic decrease in pain, as well as a return to a 28 day cycle. I did experience some changes, but unfortunately, neither of those two things was among them.
Some months I have what I call a "bad" period, by which I mean an hour or two of extremely intense symptoms that make me feel like I am going to die--literally die. The first time I had one of these episodes was when I was 16 and since it was so bad (and none of us had any idea what was wrong), my mom ended up taking me to the emergency room. Since being off of birth control, I have the episodes sporadically. Sometimes there are 4 or 5 months when I just have regular menstrual cramping without most of the other symptoms of my episodes. But I had a "bad" period in June and now again in July.
I find that if I start taking advil or ibuprofen early on during my period, I can usually avoid the really horrible symptoms (nausea with and without vomiting, diarrhea, sweating, feeling faint and of course severe cramping that feels like someone's hand is gripping my uterus and squeezing mercilessly). I have to really stay on top of the pain and keep popping the pills or the symptoms can get the better of me. I even set my alarm during the night so I can take more advil and make sure I stay ahead of everything.
Something I noticed that was different about this period was that I had little or no warning before I was running for the bathroom, doubled over in pain. It hit fast and hard and I spent a good hour just trying to breathe and get through it. I was shocked by the intensity of what I was feeling--the cramps felt like little knives running me through over and over. And, honestly, I felt more than a little betrayed.
I felt like my period should be improved because of the herbs and the other things I am doing and taking to help with the endometriosis. So I felt betrayed, disappointed and angry--very, very angry. (As a side note, anger is something that I have noticed feeling a whole lot lately--especially the week leading up to my period. This really is not like me, and I am chalking it up to hormonal changes from the herbs, but who knows?). I felt angry even though the quiet voice in my head kept telling me that it has only been 1 month and the Fertile Soul folks said I had to give it at least 3 months before deciding that it wasn't working. And it wasn't like I didn't see changes; the biggest change I have noticed during this period is the decrease in the amount of clots, which is a very, very good thing.
When I got home from the beach yesterday, I talked with my friend Eileen, who is also taking herbs and doing other "natural" things to conceive. She also has endometriosis, so she understands everything I am feeling. We talked and she encouraged me gently, in just the way I needed, not to expect too much too soon. I think that a big part of my disappointment stems from the expectations I have every month--I always feel like maybe this is the month that it will happen and I will get pregnant; then when my period begins I am devastated. So I think I may focus on not getting pregnant for a few months . . . what I think I will do instead is just focus on healing my body and preparing it. Maybe if I really have no expectations of conceiving, my emotions will be on more of an even keel and I'll be happier, and therefore healthier than if I were riding the PMS roller coaster.
Eileen's suggestion last night was that I take extra good care of myself during my period and that I do a castor oil pack to help with the endometriosis. I did castor oil packs a couple of years ago for awhile, but stopped when I gave up on all of the things I was doing to conceive naturally. Randine recommends using them in The Infertility Cure, and before I went on the retreat I bought a new bottle of castor oil as well as a fresh piece of muslin in preparation of resuming the practice.
The packs are simple to make and use, but are messy and require some time being still. You saturate the muslin (flannel works too) with oil and place it across the area you want to heal. Plastic wrap goes on top of that, followed by a heating pad. Then you leave it on for 30-60 minutes. The muslin can be stored in a plastic bag and reused over and over for several months, adding more oil as needed to keep the muslin saturated.
I don't think it's known exactly how the packs work, but it's thought that the heat in combination with some property of the castor oil helps decrease inflammation in the body. Castor oil packs boost the immune system and aid in tissue repair. I read an article about them and was surprised to learn that they are used to help with arthritis, gallstones, stomach cramps, constipation, and even things like carpal tunnel syndrome & joint sprains--crazy!
So I did a castor oil pack before bed last night and felt oddly comforted--maybe it was from the heating pad, but maybe it was because I was nurturing myself. Either way, I'll take it. :)
I'm off now to do another pack before bed tonight. Thanks for listening.
Some months I have what I call a "bad" period, by which I mean an hour or two of extremely intense symptoms that make me feel like I am going to die--literally die. The first time I had one of these episodes was when I was 16 and since it was so bad (and none of us had any idea what was wrong), my mom ended up taking me to the emergency room. Since being off of birth control, I have the episodes sporadically. Sometimes there are 4 or 5 months when I just have regular menstrual cramping without most of the other symptoms of my episodes. But I had a "bad" period in June and now again in July.
I find that if I start taking advil or ibuprofen early on during my period, I can usually avoid the really horrible symptoms (nausea with and without vomiting, diarrhea, sweating, feeling faint and of course severe cramping that feels like someone's hand is gripping my uterus and squeezing mercilessly). I have to really stay on top of the pain and keep popping the pills or the symptoms can get the better of me. I even set my alarm during the night so I can take more advil and make sure I stay ahead of everything.
Something I noticed that was different about this period was that I had little or no warning before I was running for the bathroom, doubled over in pain. It hit fast and hard and I spent a good hour just trying to breathe and get through it. I was shocked by the intensity of what I was feeling--the cramps felt like little knives running me through over and over. And, honestly, I felt more than a little betrayed.
I felt like my period should be improved because of the herbs and the other things I am doing and taking to help with the endometriosis. So I felt betrayed, disappointed and angry--very, very angry. (As a side note, anger is something that I have noticed feeling a whole lot lately--especially the week leading up to my period. This really is not like me, and I am chalking it up to hormonal changes from the herbs, but who knows?). I felt angry even though the quiet voice in my head kept telling me that it has only been 1 month and the Fertile Soul folks said I had to give it at least 3 months before deciding that it wasn't working. And it wasn't like I didn't see changes; the biggest change I have noticed during this period is the decrease in the amount of clots, which is a very, very good thing.
When I got home from the beach yesterday, I talked with my friend Eileen, who is also taking herbs and doing other "natural" things to conceive. She also has endometriosis, so she understands everything I am feeling. We talked and she encouraged me gently, in just the way I needed, not to expect too much too soon. I think that a big part of my disappointment stems from the expectations I have every month--I always feel like maybe this is the month that it will happen and I will get pregnant; then when my period begins I am devastated. So I think I may focus on not getting pregnant for a few months . . . what I think I will do instead is just focus on healing my body and preparing it. Maybe if I really have no expectations of conceiving, my emotions will be on more of an even keel and I'll be happier, and therefore healthier than if I were riding the PMS roller coaster.
Eileen's suggestion last night was that I take extra good care of myself during my period and that I do a castor oil pack to help with the endometriosis. I did castor oil packs a couple of years ago for awhile, but stopped when I gave up on all of the things I was doing to conceive naturally. Randine recommends using them in The Infertility Cure, and before I went on the retreat I bought a new bottle of castor oil as well as a fresh piece of muslin in preparation of resuming the practice.
The packs are simple to make and use, but are messy and require some time being still. You saturate the muslin (flannel works too) with oil and place it across the area you want to heal. Plastic wrap goes on top of that, followed by a heating pad. Then you leave it on for 30-60 minutes. The muslin can be stored in a plastic bag and reused over and over for several months, adding more oil as needed to keep the muslin saturated.
I don't think it's known exactly how the packs work, but it's thought that the heat in combination with some property of the castor oil helps decrease inflammation in the body. Castor oil packs boost the immune system and aid in tissue repair. I read an article about them and was surprised to learn that they are used to help with arthritis, gallstones, stomach cramps, constipation, and even things like carpal tunnel syndrome & joint sprains--crazy!
So I did a castor oil pack before bed last night and felt oddly comforted--maybe it was from the heating pad, but maybe it was because I was nurturing myself. Either way, I'll take it. :)
I'm off now to do another pack before bed tonight. Thanks for listening.
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